The quiet strength of gratitude in misfortune

Life’s unpredictability often catches us off guard. In moments of hardship within our lives like personal loss,
health struggles or simply feeling overwhelmed, we search for meaning and stability. A small but powerful
practice can be the driving force to keep us going – gratitude.

Recently, I spoke with Betsy Johnson, an English and Communication professor who has been teaching at CSB+SJU for the past 18 years. Her perspective is clear in that gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about actively recognizing the often unnoticed moments of goodness that sustain us, especially when life feels heavy.

When I asked Johnson what gratitude truly means to her, she emphasized that it begins with a conscious act of awareness. “It’s an active mental process,” she said. “There has to be an acknowledgment that good things are happening.”

Her words resonated deeply. Like many, I’ve experienced times when stress or grief clouded my outlook. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s missing from our lives or what’s going wrong. But Johnson’s advice reminds us that gratitude is a practice that requires effort, mindfulness and a willingness to shift focus. Whether it’s appreciating a kind word, a moment of stillness or the simple fact of being alive, these small acknowledgments can have a profound impact.

Johnson’s own journey underscores this truth. She faced breast cancer, a diagnosis that forced her to confront her mortality and the fragility of life. “It was a wake-up call,” she said.

She shared an inspiring story of bonding with a fellow patient during radiation treatments. A symptom of the treatment being hair loss led them to connect over their hats. Johnson loved to go thrifting and had plenty of hats. The other patient mentioned how she only had one. Hearing this, Johnson immediately went to collect one of her hats and gifted it to her the next day. In return, her new friend gave her a bracelet. Despite their suffering, they found comfort in small acts of kindness. A simple gift exchange with another patient of a hat and a bracelet. In a time when it was easy and reasonable to feel like their world was crumbling, they extended their hand to one another in a state of suffering. Those moments revealed a universal truth to her – hardship often accentuates beauty in ordinary moments we might otherwise overlook.

I asked Johnson about simple ways to integrate gratitude into the daily life of a college student. Her advice consisted of sharing gratitude daily: Find a “gratitude buddy” and exchange three things you’re thankful for each morning and evening. Spend time outside, take a walk or sit quietly in a park. Most importantly, appreciate the ordinary. Recognize the everyday blessings like a good night’s sleep, a warm meal or a kind word. We are incredibly privileged and overlook many of the things in our life that others wish they had.

Many people grapple with feelings of guilt about their privileges, access to education, safety or stability. Gratitude isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness. When we recognize what we have, it can inspire humility and motivate us to support others. It can foster compassion and drive positive action. See your privilege and practice of gratitude as an opportunity along with responsibility. The responsibility to be a beacon of light in the lives of others around you despite what you may be enduring.

Johnson’s wisdom revealed that universal truth to me. The extraordinary often resides in the ordinary. A shared smile, a breath of fresh air, a moment of quiet – all of these are miracles if we stop to notice them. When we learn to appreciate small blessings, we find strength and peace even when life feels overwhelming.

In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, gratitude can be a powerful anchor and tool to ground yourself. It invites us to pause, reflect and recognize the good in our life no matter how small. The most resilient people are often those who can find gratitude in everyday life, because they understand that even in darkness, there is light.